The Worst Script I Ever Wrote…And What I Learned From It.

If only everything we wrote actually worked the way we want it to! We’ve all had that seemingly great concept that we were sure would put us on the map…only to wind up with results that are less than encouraging. The truth is that we learn more from failure than success. Here’s the story of an epic fail and what I learned from the experience…

Fun fact about me: I started my career straight out of college working for QVC, the home shopping network. I could go on all day about the craziness of it all (I’ve combed more doll hair than I’d ever admit…), but in truth it was a fun job comprised mostly of stoned 20-somethings who got the joke. And at night, once the suits left the building, things got really wild. If only all those grandmas ordering fake jewelry knew what was happening a few feet off camera….

You’d think this world would be ripe for a Kevin Smith-esque comedy, right? But somehow, for some reason, I went for a dark comedy/murder mystery. With on-the-nose, cliched characters with names like “Mary Money.” And a pair of floating “black gloved hands” that represented the killer. I’m still not sure why anybody would kill anybody at a home shopping channel (maybe for an Isotoner?), but needless to say the script never went anywhere.

So what are the lessons? First, don’t mistake a world for a concept. Just because you’ve got a unique setting doesn’t mean you’ve got the right story to go with it. Don’t take a world that’s ripe for one genre and try to force it into another just because you want a commercial framework. And don’t chase the market. I probably made the choices I did because I was trying to emulate what was popular in the given moment.

All of the usual rules apply vis-a-vis starting with your characters and developing them outward before trying to lock in a plot. And for god’s sake, listen to criticism rather than trying to shut it out. If you give your script to five trusted people before taking it out (and you should…) you’re likely to hear some commonalities about what works and what doesn’t. Act accordingly.

It’s always hard to hear that something doesn’t work, but we ignore the truth at our own peril.